Anger management is an issue we all have to deal with… He did his best in these matters, though he didn’t do good enough by our community standards. At the same time he taught me much about Anger Management, or lack thereof, so I’ll be writing more about this soon!
–Editor, Forest Policy Research

Akasha used to prefer to refer to “anger management” as “stress management” in dealing with his issues. One of his many coping skills – including just tossing the “stuff” in his life onto his ephemeral “compost pile”. So now maybe there is a fertile source of nutrients available for some heavy duty gardening. He used to ask me to please promise that after we separated, I would just talk about him in good ways. I think I said I’d do the best I could… There was so much good in that man, that a girl like me could even fall in love with it – completely blind to the dangerous darkness that he could harbor. We shared many good times together, but there were moments when I put myself at terrible life-threatening risk when I should have known better. That’s love for you! (and a hint of direct action…)

We love you Akasha! Enjoy being free & part of everything, we’ll be seein’ you real soon

I’ll second samonberry’s words. warmest wishes to akasha and to davis and to everyone else whose lives akasha touched.

My heart is heavy even though I have just learned of John’s life and
death with your posting at Warrior Poets and my brief reading of this RIP page.

It is no wonder that the tree of life and the tree of knowledge is a
spiritual metaphor. The loss of even one tree–*human* or perennial
woody plant… touches us all.

My condolences to his friends and family.

Akasha, Jon was a good friend of mine. Sure, he was on a sonofabitch recovering alcoholic with a nasty temper, but especially later in life I got to experience his paternal warmth and intelligence and had many good times sitting on a logging road chatting with him all hours of the night about subjects esoteric and practical. Never minced words and always said exactly what he meant. The yoga and art chilled him out as he got older. He ran some pretty daring rescue mission during the first few years at Fall Creek. Some hilarious verbal quips from that guy – “relax, honey it’s just Tantra” ;) A real wonderful person to have known. You will be missed.

Well, obviously this sucks. Don’t know what else to say except that I’m very sorry we never got to play a game of Squad Leader like he always wanted to. As I get older I see that alcohol, stress, and anger are way more dangerous than I thought when I was younger. They can straight up kill you (and do irreparable damage to others) in real life.

RIP

I am very sorry to hear this very bad news. Akasha was a highly intelligent man and was committed to bettering himself through intellectual, social, environmental, and artistic pursuits. Occasionally great intelligence by extrapolation causes deep cynicism, and hyper-sensitivity. He was all of those things. Its seems that we could all keep those facts in mind as we go through life and cross paths with other people who’ve been pushed too far and alone into the deep dark forest of the mind. Akasha frequented my gallery/record store alot while he was still in eugene, 02-07 and we often bonded over being misunderstood in eugene for having boisterous and blunt east coast ways…Akasha was a good and imperfect person as we are all. -shawn, museum of unfine art and record store

i knew jd in the bad old days in pdx late 80s and he was exceptionally chemically influenced, violent and cruel, with a few brilliant intelligent flashes shining thru. i’m glad he found some peace in his later life, but sad that his violence continued and sad he never really got the help he needed.

My husband Tam and I both love Akasha very much and we are both deeply grateful that we got to walk this earth for a while with him. Artist, writer, visionary – Akasha is a rare, fiercely passionate and beautiful soul that burned brighter than most while he was here.

When we spoke with Akasha on his birthday he communicated to us his happiness at being able to share his art with his step-father ( an influential artist in his life) and brother. Throughout the summer and into the fall he seemed inspired and driven by his art and the direction it was evolving and progressing.

We last touched base with one another via email on Christmas Eve while Tam and I were travelling through a blizzard in Montana. When we finally returned home to Eugene, the Post Office had returned our package that we had sent to Akasha…marked “unclaimed”. We tried unsuccessfully several times to reach him by phone and email…and since then have simply resigned ourselves to praying that everything is well with him.

Because we have had the good fortune to know Akasha and to call him our friend, we want to express our love and gratitude to him for the laughter, love and camaraderie that he brought into our lives. Although words cannot express the beauty of who Akasha really is we will miss his warm, brave spirit.

“For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”
Kahlil Gibran

We will miss him,
Marcella & Tam

Akasha liked this poem….

There is pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more,
From these our interviews, in which I steal
From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.

LORD BYRON

I’m glad John found peace in the trees, because he sure never found it with people, especially women, nor they with him, at least in my experience. I saw his talent, intelligence and sensitivity and wit and tried to nurture it and bring it out, and all it got me was numerous hospital visits, missing teeth, and reconstructive surgery.

He was like a badly injured puppy- you wanted to pick him up and heal him but he just bit and snarled at you. And worse.

I’m glad he found a calling. I’m glad he found some friends he didn’t feel he had to destroy.

I’ve been in hiding from him for a lot of years and now can finally breathe freely. Maybe now the nightmares and panic attacks will stop. Maybe we can both rest in peace…

John is gone? I knew him when he lived in Pendleton, Oregon in the late 70’s early 80’s before the birth of his twins and never knew what happened to him. My heart is breaking for his family, the babies he gave up and the life of peace he never knew later in life. The time I knew him he was light hearted and fun!

Akasha, although his temperment was a bit rough, was a beautiful and loving being. As a young person, he showed me great kindness in his own unique way. He allowed me the oppurtunity to peer into his world, to share his knowledge, and to appreciate the world which he strived to make better. Although he had a very gritty nature, and was of tough character, I see that as ultimately being his compassion protected in its embreyonic and fragile state. I wish for him to be free from all suffering and it’s causes, and encourage others who may feel upset or angry or numb to instead focus that energy in a productive and compassionate manner, and to generate gratefulness for this precious opportunity known as human life, which is also very impermenant. Thank you!

I must admit I didn’t know Akasha very well over the many years he spent in central Cascadia.
He poured countless hours and days into defending the forests of Cascadia. Perhaps he saw forest defense as his redemption for bad deeds in his past and/or where he could fit in easily? I don’t know if it was one or either?
He always showed me respect and never showed anger towards me but I surely knew he was capable.
I do not know of any one he abused physically or verbally here in central Cascadia. Perhaps there is those who he did and I am sorry for those individuals. I am not claiming he did not verbally abuse people.
Yes, I knew of occassions where he yelled at and with other forest defenders especially in the midst of stress at a tree village or forest occupation.
I feel he tried his best to channel his dysfunction into forest defense pursuits and constructive actions.
I guess many things from his past wore heavy on his heart and this along with alcohol and no connection to real community is likely is what led him to his downfall.
I will remember the positive things about Akasha.
rest in peace Akasha
forest defender and builder of the first US road blocking tunnel at the Fall Creek tree village

Here are picture of some of Akasha’s latest work. All of these images where done a few months before his final celebration. Akasha you are going to be missed. I bet if you where style here you would say. “ Oh, I see how it really is! Only after I kill myself is anyone interested in what I was trying to do. Now you asshole’s what my art. Why, don’t you read some Shakespeare fucking idiots? Akasha this is way I will miss having you around because of the things you had said the thing you do and have done. At a time in my life when I was trying to be some kind of “Activist” you told me. Dude your funny like that washer machine joke about “crusty girls”, you’re not out here because you care about the forest, or the earth, or anything really worth caring about, you’re here to escape your girlfriend and she is style stocking you. He was right, but now I really do care. Thanks Akasha.

he was a tough man who i respected and fought with, and hugged and loved. he was tireless and tiresome and beautiful. he taught me a lot and i cherish the time i spent in the cfd office with and around akasha. i considered him a friend and a force to be reckoned with. this world can be hard and the people with the biggest hearts feel it the most.

may all defenders of the earth know peace.
Akasha gave what he could for what was right.
“All gave some. Some gave all”

wow. suicide is such a crazy thing. even when you can understand what may push someone to do such a thing, its always shocking and so sad… we have lost quite a few people from “our” or my, community over the years to this. jesiah (also from fall creek), and most recently, my ex boyfriend root. it breaks my heart- and really all we (or i) can do to comprehend such travesty is to think that maybe, there is peace that may incure after suffering from life on earth, and that maybe, these people we care about that go away, will have a second, or sixtieth chance at life on earth, again?!

i met akasha at the farmers market in eugene oregon, roughly 1999… he was always up in the office closest to the front door, on the second floor, where our “c.f.d” office also was. i do remember bugging him from time to time about this or that (in which he was always kind of grouchy! and after several attempts at trying to get this man to realize WE WERE ON THE SAME TEAM, i think he did…. what is it about a challenge that makes things more motivating sometimes?!
i feel like, as a young woman in the movement, at the time, i DID have to struggle to get recognition, or even ” friendly aquintance” statis with akasha.
i don’t really know why i am writing all this to be honest. it isn’t really something meant for “all of you” readers out there. its more something i would write to akasha himself, if i had a chance.
the bottom line is: from what i know, akasha truly cared about our forests. he wanted to be there. helping stop the destruction, and otherwise. we did fight on the same team, and i do hope he is at peace, somewhere. thank you, and rest (or live on) in peace, this time around…

one morning in Fangorn (winter 98-99), a few days after Davis fell six feet (out of a possible 202 feet) from the main platform and landed in the so-called basement (close call, huh?) you asked me: Hey Frodo, are the voices in my head bothering you?
all i could think to answer: No, Akasha, turn em up…
how to channel all the anger & frustration we feel in the face of greed/destruction/cruelty/ hopelessness?

some of us returned to the forest to try to find a way to help without hurting– to defend without giving offense — to let actions speak louder than words (since words tend to generate such complicated/troublesome situations) — nothing was ever that simple, was it?

hope youve finally found peace, bro… love you always, for believing in & defending me the way you defended the forest, and for staying out there on the edge — not that anyone should have to, but so few are able…amazing that you did, for so long…
from the rescued stands of Cascadian old-growth Doug firs to the burnt stumps of Ramsey Gulch redwoods, may the forest be with you — namaste — frodo/blackbird/owl

It’s already June and Dirt just told me–I have tears in my eyes….Akasha was dear to me. I met him at China Left in the mid-90’s, hung out at the Oregon Rainbow Gathering, and then we did Howl-N-growl together in the last days of Icky’s. That was my first long-term tree-sit. After reading this list I’m feeling like I need to speak up–as a female who was close to him, I never had any abuse issues with him. He would go on his verbal tirades and such, but they were never directed at me. Our tree at Howl-n-Growl got cut, and among all the trees I’ve sat in, both the ones still standing and the ones taken, both this tree and Akasha have a special place in my heart.

Somewhere a tree still stands….

Akasha didn’t find much community during his last year of life. This is what we talked about most before he moved to Seattle. Apparently, he didn’t find the community he was looking for there either. When almost everyone you used to know is either dead, in jail, or sold out (sometimes even a combination) where is an aging activist to go? There is no retirement plan for activists; the only thing you can count on is your community and WE let him down. All of us. Community is about more than just letting someone crash on your floor. That being said: He gave me hope. He didn’t find religion or settle down, or censor himself as he got older; he never sold out. He had a great sarcastic humor. He was also one of the most kinky and sexually liberated people I have ever met. I hope his death was all he hoped it would be.

Still remembering, with love. Marking Akasha’s anniversary month with a candle and a mantra.

We’ve had no luck accessing his remains – as some of us felt he would have like to have his ashes be at Fall Creek…the effort was great, but the river didn’t flow in that direction. Perhaps yet still we can arrange a closure ceremony to honor Akasha’s life and passing…

Akasha was a special man whom I miss greatly. I will keep your memory warm and whisper it to trees I get to know, Aki. Your passing leaves a hole in my heart.
Thank you for being there when you could be.

I did not “know” Akasha (ironically did a google search for “akasha and trees” and it brought me to this page) or his activism, but I felt strangely drawn to comment after reading the notes here…

There are people who are born (or perhaps it is acquired after birth) with a depth of understanding that goes beyond even their own ability to grasp. Individuals that feel things that most in current culture would consider forgettable, so keenly that the pain overwhelms. They feel and understand things that on a conscious level make NO SENSE.

So I’ll leave you with this thought…

Perhaps all the various comments and discussions here that are distilled down into, “We liked/loved him IN SPITE of these things we see that made him somehow broken or “less” in our perceptions” were all pointing to a single thing…he had a rather profound effect on people and his environment. Perhaps he was something much more special than any of you and you’re just too stuck in current neanderthal perception to see or understand that. He sounds like an old soul to me, and I’ve no doubt the trees actually spoke his name. If you really listen to them (the trees), you may hear them speak it too…